Happiness
by lilyamongthorns
Summary: You shouldn't have to settle. ONESHOT.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is coming from a brain rattled with allergies, belonging to a person who has been bed-ridden all day. This arose out of my sheer boredom and lack of energy to do much else but write. Enjoy.

-O-O-O-

He felt sick. Strangely enough he was completely sober, staring through the vaulted windows of a conference room, watching a couple share a hurried kiss and cuddle before the next meeting. She was perched on the table, quite improper for her, ankles crossed neatly. Her perfectly manicured hands gripped his elbows, clad in an expensive business suit. They weren't even doing anything particularly interesting. Just staring at one another in that sickening way that lovers do. Now and then in the florescent light, Tony would catch her blush deepen and she'd look away shyly. He'd reach up a hand to comb a piece of hair behind her ear.

The wedding had been beautiful. Of course he'd gone. She'd invited him, and after six years of employment, especially in a position as close to him as a personal assistant, he'd gone. They were friends. That's what she'd said, at least. So why would he not go to a friends wedding?

She was gorgeous in that ivory colored dress, red hair all pinned up and fancy. She was ethereal that night. And happy. The happiest he'd ever seen her. And he couldn't help but be happy for her. Because she deserved him. And he deserved her. She deserved a man better than Tony himself, better than the drunkard who couldn't carry himself up the stairs at the end of the night. Who wouldn't treat her like a nursemaid. And he deserved the brightness in her eyes, the glow of her smile, more than Tony would ever be worthy of it.

But he'd never actually say any of this. He'd done everything he could to keep from admitting it to himself. But it was undeniable. He was in love with her. With something he couldn't have. And for a man that was used to getting everything he wanted, this put him in a strange position. He could continue with nightly conquests picked up after several sips from a martini glass. He could do so without any second thoughts. Because she wasn't his. Because he had no responsibility to anyone. Because he was rich, and he was Tony Stark, and he could do whatever he wanted. He wasn't supposed to settle down, wasn't supposed to be in any kind of lengthy relationship; he was celebrity after all. It came with the title.

But everything came back to her. Everything hinged on her presence in his life. Without her, he had nothing. It was almost pitiful how attached he'd become to her in six years. He'd never show it, never say it. But he knew it. And as much as the will to deny it bubbled inside him, he could not ignore the pull in his chest when he saw her kiss another man, no matter how small that tug was.

-O-O-O-

He knew what had happened before he'd even asked. She showed up to work five minutes late, showing no signs of dishevelment, perfectly primped and polished as always. But one thing could not be ignored. Anyone else would've never picked up on it. But he had.

She'd forgotten her earrings.

Throughout the years he'd seen countless pairs, none of which he remembered as particularly significant. There were long, dangly ones she wore at dinner parties. Tiny silver ones that went nicely and professionally with her work attire. A few different shapes of diamonds. She always wore them, even if she wore no other piece of jewelry. Always.

But this morning she'd been too bothered or too rushed to put them on.

She'd forgotten. Why?

It was only a few hours later when he entered her office, barging in without knocking as always. He'd caught just the tail end of a phone call.

"No," she'd said, "I can't. I'm sorry….Bye." She ended the call quickly, a little too quickly, and looked up at him expectation.

This was no business partner she was chatting with. This was her husband. Her husband of three years. He'd never known the two of them to have issues, not that he'd ever asked. He always assumed she was happy with her choice. Marriage was never a topic of corporate retreat small talk for them. She didn't bother in his business, and he didn't bother in hers. This was their unspoken rule.

Rules were made to broken.

"Everything ok?" he asked pointedly.

"Of course, Mr. Stark." She reached for a folder across the desk and began organizing it needlessly.

"Really?"

She gave him a look, eyebrows up and head tilted forward. There was a long pregnant pause.

"Its not any of your business," she said finally. She knew that he knew. In nine years, they'd developed a certain unique closeness. A certain intuitiveness about the other.

"Right," he said, and plopped into the chair opposite hers, ready for her to brief him on the week's events.

After nearly thirty minutes of planning and arranging, they finalized his next week's schedule. He didn't ignore the fact that her phone glowed three times during their exchange. All phone calls bearing his name scripted across the screen.

She ignored them all, never turning once to check.

When he rose from his chair, ready to retreat back to his office, he paused at her door for a moment. "You know..." he began, looking over his shoulder at her. "Even though this is coming from me—a single middle-aged guy who beds every hot blonde he sees—you shouldn't have to settle."

He watched her eyes mist suddenly, becoming a darker shade of blue. Before she could respond, he shut the door behind himself.

-O-O-O-

Fourteen days, six hours, and twelve minutes after he left her office, their divorce was finalized. She showed no signs of depression, no changes in her behaviors. He figured the marriage had gone dry long ago, and this was probably long awaited.

It wasn't until a week after their split was official that he got the details.

They were on a plane to Singapore. He'd asked for the cabin lights to be lowered, and had leaned back in his seat to attempt sleep, sunglasses over his eyes, feet propped up on the table between them. Pepper had turned her overhead light on, and was reading a thick paperback novel.

Her voice was quiet when she spoke at first. "Tony?"

"Hmm…?"

"What did you mean that day when you said I shouldn't settle?"

So much for sleep. He opened his eyes, wide awake now. He pushed his sunglasses into his hair. "What?"

"That day. In my office. You told me I shouldn't settle." He had full view of her now, her novel laid in her lap. They weren't boss and employee anymore. They were friends here.

"Because you shouldn't." His voice sounded even more sincere than he'd expected. He swallowed, watching her eyes on him. "You're great, Pepper. And settling for less than anyone who will respect you for all of your greatness is settling. And its not fair to you."

She looked away, staring into the blackness outside the window. "You're right." Her voice was still quiet. He didn't realize he'd leaned forward instinctively in his chair when she reached up a hand t swipe beneath her eye.

"I really did love him."

He felt a strange pang in his chest. "I know you did."

"We were just both always busy. We never had time together."

He wasn't sure how to respond, so he lowered his head. He let the darkness between them hide what he really wished he could say.

Finally, lamely, he spoke. "I want you to be happy, Pepper." It was foreign to his own ears. He had might as well lay out all his feelings for her. They'd always been close, but never intimate like this, and the emotion filling the cabin almost made him dizzy.

He heard her sigh heavily. Like frames on a movie screen, time seemed to jump, and before he was aware of it, he was holding her hand, fingers interlocked.

No more was said. They just sat there, hands clasped, both emptied and yet full of words that couldn't be said. Would probably never be said. It was easier to dance around happiness than to actually achieve it, he thought. Happiness was the one great goal, but fear of having it was enough to deter him from the prize.

She'd always be just within his reach, he thought. It was now his duty to reach up and close the gap.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Alright you've pressured me into it. But this is it. Really it. I can't keep up with the stories I have right now, let alone another. But your reviews inspired me to write just one more piece. You're welcome.

Also, this one moves backwards in time, as opposed to the other that moves forward. You'll see what I mean when you read haha.

-O-O-O-

He'd waited a decade and a half for this. It only took that long to convince her that this was the right thing for both of them.

Her white gown was simple. The silk train ebbed behind her as she approached. Her brother, a tall man with shocking red hair led her down the narrow aisle. Her cheeks were blushed, and she ducked her head to her chin, grinning beneath her veil. When he eyes flashed to his, he just wanted to kiss he right them. He vaguely entertained the thought of snagging her arm and fleeing the church. Eloping together like a pair of teens.

And then she was beside him. Finally. After years of waiting.

Camera bulbs flashed, but he could care less about anything around them. He had her here, with him, forever. And it would be forever. He would show her. He would make up the lost time. Make up for the bitterness that love had been for her up to this point. For both of them.

He would show her everyday how amazing he thought she was. He'd show her what kind of man he'd become since Afghanistan: a man who understood what it really meant to be proud, what it really meant to be brave. A man who'd come to understand what love really was.

A man who, while he still drove flashy cars, drank only the best bourbon, and owned a penthouse in nearly every major city worldwide, had not to not place his happiness in these things. He'd come to live his life for something greater. For the rush of repulsor blasts beneath his feet, and for seeing the smatter of freckles along his lover's cheeks.

The vows were said, spoken with tender care. When her slender fingers slipped the ring onto his finger, he had no words to describe the feelings. People had said it felt like a weight, or like a supernatural force holding them together had somehow been enacted. But it was none of those things. It was unique, and their very own.

All things he'd been holding out on didn't seem to matter anymore at that moment. The things he'd seen overseas, the deaths he'd watched happen before his eyes due to his own hand, had no victory over this brightness. And when he kissed her, he could only hope she understood.

But this one thing she would never know: every time he flew off to face death itself, she was his motivation to come home safely. More than his duty to the world at large, it was her. Her that kept him going. Her that had made him the man he was. Only she could lift the weight he carried.

-O-O-O-

It happened just as she expected it always would. He had always had some strange obsession with the beach. She'd been with his to see nearly every ocean on Earth. So she always knew this was the place he'd pop the question.

They'd gone on a retreat to Hawaii. The board, of course, had been suspicious when they snuck off that weekend. They hadn't notified anyone of their whereabouts, creeping off as quietly as possible in a company jet, landing on his private beach. They would spend the next four days here. She'd even vowed to keep cell phone usage to a minimum. This was their time with one another to get away from it all.

He knew she needed this now more than ever. With new stresses of being CEO. He might add that stocks had never been higher since she took over; he should've appointed her CEO long ago. He'd never had the patience or the skills for business. He liked being the brains of the operation, rather than the hands.

Speaking of hands.

Hers were gorgeous. He'd always thought so. They were slender, with long fingers that were always manicured and painted with a neat French tip. Pepper was not a nail biter. She was a hair twirler. He loved to watch those fingers work through that pony tail, nervously or anxiously, as she leaned back in her office chair on an important conference call. But here, in his own, was his favorite place for her hands to be.

Maybe not his favorite, but it made the top three.

He smiled down at her, breathing in the salt of the air around them mixed with her subtle perfume. He hadn't exactly come up with a speech. He figured he'd just wing it, but now his throat was drying and all he could do was stare at her like an idiot. Finally, he managed a weak murmur. "I've been thinking…" He shifted closer to her, their hands held between them, close to Pepper's warm belly, covered by the thin material of her sundress.

Before he could speak again, his knee hit the soft sand beneath them, kneeling before her, her hands still in his own.

The little blue box hidden in the pocket of his board shorts made her gasp when he retrieved it and her crystal eyes glow in the dimming sunlight.

"Oh, Tony…" was all she managed.

Once he had placed the ring on her finger and gotten a solid answer out of her, he lifted himself up once again and she clung to him, giggling and crying all at once into his t-shirt.

Yes, he thought for a moment. Happiness was here.

-O-O-O-

The look of absolute terror in her eyes made him regret the decision.

"Tony," she squeaked, hands covering her mouth in terror. "What happened to you?" she whispered.

He buttoned his shirt and leaned back against the soft leather seats. In all honesty, all this luxury felt foreign now after three months of hell.

"Shrapnel to the heart," he said thickly. "The doctor cut a six inch hole in my chest, and put in the miniaturized reactor. Ya dig?" He tried to smile, tried to lighten the mood but it was useless.

"Tony…" she stammered. "You…you made that? You haven't even miniaturized arc reactor technology here…how did you…?" She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut, making more tears flow, smudging her makeup. "They hurt you."

He was almost shocked to feel his heart hammer close against the baseplate of the device embedded within him. He'd hurt her. He hadn't even realized then the repercussions of this. Yinsen had said it was a crazy idea, but the only one they had, and the only one that would keep him alive. Now he was different. Everything was different. He needed to keep this under wraps…literally. And worst of all…she thought he was a monster now. Deformed. Handicapped.

"I wanted this," he said suddenly, the words tasting rotten in his mouth. Yinsen's last words reverbed through his consciousness.

Pepper leaned away from him, wiping at her face with quick fingers. "I don't…" she began.

"I was dying. I was dead. For more than a few minutes."

He could've stopped while he was ahead, but he was never good at that anyways. Pepper sobbed quietly through her hand. "You were dead?"

The absolute fear and desolation in her eyes made him reach out for her instantly. His arm tugged her to him across the backseat, pressing her form against his shoulder. "I'm back, Pepper. I'm here."

It didn't sound comforting. It sounded like a revelation. Like he himself was relieved and shocked.

She pulled back after barely a minute, wiping at her face. "We're almost there. We need to…"

His hand shot out to rest on her elbow. "Wait a minute."

He tried to get a breath, but it caught in his throat. He told himself on the plane ride back that he'd do this. Now why was he so frightened?

He wasn't one to beat around the bush. Cut and dry, as usual.

"I can't waste any more time, Pepper," he began. "I have to tell you…how important you are. You…you're all I've got."

She just stared at him with the same bleary eyes.

He tried a different tactic. "Do you understand what I'm trying to say..?" His chocolate brown eyes begged her to understand.

He watched her lips part, watched her chest expand with a deep breath. "Yes. I do."

His eyes fell closed and he lowered his hand. The weight lifted, and the device humming against his sternum didn't seem so foreign anymore.

The Bentley slowed to a stop. It was over. It was done now. Pepper hurried, rifling through her purse for a mirror and her mascara tube. Seconds passed, and he wadded up the greasy tissue that had contained a double cheeseburger just before Happy opened his door. Before he dove into the crowd, he peered over his shoulder at the woman behind him. She knew now. Time didn't seem so short anymore. They could discuss things later tonight after the camera sharks got their blood money.

Shutters and shouts of reporters were surprisingly familiar when he turned to face the crowd.

Back to business as usual.

And even if things weren't particularly happy now, he had a hope that they would be.


End file.
